How to dress … when you have to go to a place where they ask you questions …

Welcome back! I’m still your host, Tyrannosaurus-Bai. Bringing you non-stop blogging goodness for the week. Now, we all know Erin’s birthday was yesterday. She celebrated it by laying in bed most of the day, waiting for her lost luggage to arrive, while I was off at an appointment. While I currently can’t speak of what the appointment was, I can tell you that I had to be dressed quite sharply. Sadly, because Erin was in bed, I don’t have a pic of the end result, but that’s probably a good thing. Had you all seen me looking so good, the Internet would have imploded.

We’re going to do this in a different fashion though. I’m going to post this Memento style – from ending to beginning. If you haven’t seen Memento, you probably should. I saw it many years ago, and I seem to remember it being entertaining. *shrugs*

Shooooooooooooes!!:

Chubby Cat approved shoes. Thanks Leela!

That’s right, you don’t dare have bad shoes. They complete the outfit AND ladies notice your shoes. They are quintessential in capping off the outfit like a maraschino cherry on your sundae. You may wish to have your chubby animal inspect your shoes before hand. Remember, your chubby animal knows best.

Tie:

Meet the Half-Windsor Knot ...

 

This Ladies and Gentlemen, is the Half-Windsor knot. It’s a wide, even knot good for any collared shirt. Notice how the tie colour compliments the shirt colour. Silver on sky blue. That has “Lady Killer” written all over it. Your good fashion sense and tie tying ability will not only wow the ladies, it’ll impress the corporate types, or whomever else you meet. Feel confident with that, you sir or madam, are bad ass.

Shirt:

DIE FOUL WRINKLES!

Wrinkles are the enemy. “But Bai, I don’t know how to iron a shirt! Can’t I just buy a machine wash/dry-wrinkle free super shirt?” … Sure you could … if you’re an Apple-Woman. Man up, learn how to iron your shirt pansy. Now, for those of you who are married, and somehow convince your significant other to iron your shirt, don’t brag that you got them to do it … lie! You’re WAY more manly if you can iron your own shirt. I certainly wouldn’t admit to being a lazy POS … 😉

Hair:

That looks like a fast haircut!

Just like your senior prom date … Do .. it … UP!

Slacks:

… Yeah I forgot to take a pic here. Black dress pants … ironed. You’re good. Thumbs up to you. You may also choose alternate colours like grey, or a pin-striped pant. But black is slimming, so your ass will look fantastic. “You could bounce a quarter off that ass!” they’ll say! Oh yeah, and wear a belt too!

Caffeinate up:

Awareness in a pot

Tea is just as good as coffee, except you don’t get the nasty breath. If you’re going to be answering questions, you can’t have the stank breath. However, should you not be able to man up and drink tea, you’d better have some damn good toothpaste as well as mint flavoured gum for the drive over!

Shave:

Do you know how difficult it was to take this pic?!?

A wise/crazy man once told me “Hey Bai, you can shave that!” Indeed … you CAN shave that! Which you’d better, because first impressions count! This goes for you too ladies. If your beard isn’t in tip top shape, people will notice, and your charisma level will go down, and you won’t succeed. That’s just a fact of life.

Shower:

Hey look, it's Bai in the shower takin' a pic of Bai in the shower!

You stink. Take a shower.

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2 Comments

Filed under Bai

2 responses to “How to dress … when you have to go to a place where they ask you questions …

  1. Aaron

    Bailey is what would happen if Liberace and Elton John had a baby and it was raised by Ricky Martin.

    BELEEDAT

  2. Pingback: Birthday Trip- Part 3! “San Francisco Bai” | blog, shmog.

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